With all that life has to offer us, it can also demand much of us in return. Especially when we’re feeling low on resources, juggling the demands of work, maintaining our health and diets, balancing social and family lives, and fostering connections with our communities, we can end up feeling utterly overwhelmed and vulnerable when things don’t go according to plan. Yet, these very challenges often offer us the greatest opportunities for growth and resilience. We don’t grow when things are easy; we grow when we’re challenged.
Today, I want to share some actionable strategies for building resilience after our deepest challenges, focusing on seeking support, engaging in sports or physical activities, and practising mindfulness. While these tools don’t offer all the answers, they can help us harness strength from adversity and move forward with renewed purpose.
Seeking Support
The journey to resilience often begins with acknowledging that we don’t have to go through difficult times alone. No one is an island, and none of us should have to go it alone. Seeking support is crucial for healing and rebuilding strength.
Talk to Trusted Loved Ones: Sharing your experiences and feelings with family or friends can provide immense relief. Their empathy and understanding can offer comfort and new perspectives. Sometimes, people worry about burdening those around them and think that sharing their troubles would be unwelcome, but I’ve found that people really feel rewarded by being able to offer support. It feels good to help others; it’s okay to let others help us as well.
Professional Help: Therapists and counsellors can offer specialised guidance and support tailored to your needs. There are many modalities of therapy out there, and there’s likely one that will resonate with you and help in your healing journey. Therapists can help you navigate complex emotions and develop coping strategies that you’ll be able to use for the rest of your life.
Support Groups: Connecting with others who have faced similar challenges can be incredibly validating and eye-opening. While your friends and family might not have gone through the same circumstances you have, support groups provide a sense of community and understanding, reminding you that you are not alone.
Engaging in Sports or Physical Activities
The mind/body connection is crucial to understanding mental health. We can’t solve our problems just by talking about them. Often, when we haven’t been taking care of our bodies, our minds suffer the consequences, and situations can feel worse as a result. Physical activity is a powerful tool for building resilience. It not only strengthens the body and offers us greater health and resources for our futures but also has profound effects on mental health.
Exercise Regularly: Engaging in regular physical activity reduces stress, anxiety, and depression, with many studies documenting the benefits of exercise on mental health. Whether it’s jogging, swimming, or a fitness class, find an activity you enjoy and make it a part of your routine.
Team Sports: Participating in team sports can foster a sense of belonging and support. It also teaches valuable lessons about teamwork, perseverance, and achieving goals, which are vital lessons to bring into our relationships with our partners and loved ones. When we see those around us as part of our team, rather than as obstacles to our goals, we connect with them more easily.
Mind-Body Practices: Activities such as yoga, tai chi, and Pilates combine physical movement with mindfulness, helping to centre the mind and alleviate stress.
Practising Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of staying present and fully engaging with the current moment. It can be particularly beneficial in managing the emotional aftermath of trauma.
Meditation: Regular meditation can help you develop a greater awareness of your thoughts and feelings, allowing you to respond to challenges with a clearer mind and calmer disposition. While many people find meditation frustrating at first, remember that it’s a skill that’s developed, like playing any instrument. We can’t pick up a guitar and expect to play like Jimi Hendrix the next day. And so with meditation: keep at it, and you’ll be amazed at how much you’ve progressed after dedicated practice.
Breathing Exercises: Stress and activation of the fight or flight response are often coupled with rapid breathing. When we develop a practice of slowing down the breath, a greater sense of ease and peace comes with it. Techniques such as diaphragmatic breathing or the 4-7-8 method can be practised anywhere, anytime. They work very well in the midst of challenges, too.
Mindful Activities: Incorporate mindfulness into daily activities. Whether you’re eating, walking, or even doing household chores, focus on the sensations and experience of the activity without judgement. Try, for instance, noticing where you taste your food on your tongue. Do you feel it on the tip of your tongue, or at the back of it? When you swallow your food, how long can you feel the food in you before you lose track of it? Paying attention and being mindful of smaller details that we often overlook can lead to us discovering smaller details in other areas of our life later on.
Harnessing strength from life's biggest challenges is not about ignoring the pain or pretending that everything is fine. It's about acknowledging the difficulties, seeking support, and taking proactive steps to rebuild and grow. By seeking support, engaging in physical activities, and practising mindfulness, we can cultivate resilience and emerge stronger and more empowered from our experiences.
Resilience is not a destination but a journey. In some Buddhist mindfulness traditions, they speak of the path being the goal. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this path. Each step you take is a testament to your strength and determination.
Love,
Julia x
On a difficult day, reading this was helpful. Thank you,
I have been using the notion of competencies
Unconscious incompetence
Conscious incompetence
Conscious competence
Unconscious competence
It comes from management training.I had a little giggle about it,but it is adaptable to all kinds of situations… learning a sport or an art for example; or for small habits, even interpersonal exchanges.At the moment I have been using it to lessen my scrolling habit which hasn’t been making me very happy.
It builds strengths in an interesting way.