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Why we want to fix what can’t be fixed

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Julia Samuel
Oct 10, 2025
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Today is World Mental Health Day, I’ve shared a short post over on Instagram with a few thoughts and tools that might help when everything feels a bit much. If that’s been you lately, do give it a read.


In my recent conversation on Therapy Works with

Ben Goldsmith
, one theme came through with enormous clarity: our instinct to fix, and the painful relief that comes when we realise we can’t.

When Ben’s daughter Iris died suddenly, his first thought - as a father - was: how do I fix this? He told me, “That’s my job, Julia, to fix things.” It is the most human of responses. To act. To repair. To reverse the irreparable. And yet in grief, that instinct can drive us mad, because no matter how furiously we think, plan, or replay events, there is no fixing the reality of death.

Why do we want to fix?

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