The Therapy Works Substack

The Therapy Works Substack

Why Belonging Matters

Julia Samuel's avatar
Julia Samuel
Sep 26, 2025
∙ Paid
13
1
Share

A reminder about my Live Webinar on Monday at 6PM (UK Time)!
Paid subscribers are invited to join me on 29th September at 6pm for a special live webinar. I’ll be answering your questions live and I’d love to see you there!

Webinar details will be shared in Monday’s newsletter. If you aren’t already a paid subscriber, you still have time to upgrade to a paid subscription and receive the webinar details by upgrading your subscription on the link below. See you there!


When Elizabeth Day and I spoke on this week’s episode of Therapy Works, the thread that kept pulling through was belonging. Again and again, she described the ache of not feeling seen - whether in her career, her relationships, or her experience of childlessness.

That word - belonging - is not just sentimental. It’s psychological oxygen.


The psychology of belonging

We are tribal by design.
Humans evolved to live in groups of around 150 (the “Dunbar number”). Within that, we have even smaller inner circles: perhaps five people we depend on most closely, and about 15 who are confidants. These layers give us safety, identity and purpose. When the bonds weaken, we feel it in our bodies: loneliness activates the same brain areas as physical pain.

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to The Therapy Works Substack to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Julia Samuel
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start your SubstackGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture