Meeting Anxiety with Curiosity, Not Control

Join my webinar for paid subscribers tonight at 6pm (UK time)

Just a reminder — my next live webinar for paid subscribers is happening on tonight at 6 PM (UK time)!

It’s a chance to connect as a community, ask questions, and explore whatever’s on your mind.

Webinar details will be shared at the bottom of this newsletter. If you aren’t already a paid subscriber, you still have time to upgrade to a paid subscription and receive the webinar details by clicking on the link below!

---

I wanted to share something personal with you this morning—something that’s been in my heart and mind as I’ve been travelling more than usual lately, often on my own.

In those quiet moments between destinations, I noticed a familiar feeling rising—anxiety. Not loud, not panicked. Just a quiet hum, a buzz beneath the surface that tugged at my attention. Instead of pushing through it (which, let’s be honest, is often our default), I decided to try something different. I went inward.

Using Internal Family Systems (IFS)—a therapeutic approach I’ve found incredibly grounding—I tuned into that sensation. I took a few deep breaths and allowed myself to simply feel what was there without judgement. What emerged was almost childlike: an image of that little orange furious emoji, clenched jaw and all. It felt like a very young part of me—angry, scared, overwhelmed, and quite honestly, having a bit of a tantrum.

But instead of trying to silence it or rationalise it away, I did something revolutionary. I had a conversation with it.

I asked this part of myself, “What do you need?” And it responded. It needed reassurance. It needed to know it was safe. It needed someone to acknowledge its fear rather than brush it aside.

So I met that part where it was. I comforted it in the way I might comfort a child. And slowly, something shifted. The tightness softened. The internal noise quieted. And in its place came this beautiful, expansive calm. I felt open again—like I’d come back home to myself.

So often, when anxiety or tension arises, our instinct is to meet it with logic. We go into fix-it mode, keep busy, distract ourselves, try to outpace the discomfort. But that rarely works for long. We become robotic in our routine, and the anxiety tightens its grip.

What I’m learning—over and over—is that the real work isn’t in the doing, but in the listening. In pausing long enough to hear the message beneath the sensation. In turning inward, with curiosity and compassion, and asking, “What do you need?”

It’s not always easy. Sometimes what we find feels uncomfortable or vulnerable. But what I’ve discovered is that every part of us, even the angriest, most anxious parts, just wants to be heard and held.

So this is your gentle reminder this week: if something feels off or tense, instead of powering through, try pausing. Take a breath. Close your eyes. Ask yourself what part of you is trying to speak—and what it needs from you in this moment.

You might be surprised at what you find.

Love,

Julia x

Webinar details for Monday 28th April below: