Becoming a Mother: The Loneliness We Don't Talk About Enough

Has anyone talked to you about how lonely motherhood can feel?

They tell you about the sleepless nights, the nappies, the feeding schedules, the love that will bowl you over and all of that is true. But too few women say out loud, how the ache of solitude can settle in during those early months. That loneliness is perplexing because it doesn’t diminish when surrounded by people.

It is hard to understand how you can feel lonely when you’re never alone. When you’re holding your baby almost constantly. Even when friends and family check in, visit, offer advice the loneliness remains. But there it is, the loss of adult conversation, the erosion of identity, the long stretches where you don’t feel fully seen.

You adore your baby, you would do anything for them, but still, you grieve the version of yourself who used to be spontaneous, the one who could finish a thought, the one who went to work, saw friends and felt capable. The one who wasn’t so needed… all the time.